At a noon of above 100 degree, on the way, devoted in delivering speeches to two fellow audiences, I failed to notice a little grey and brown thingy lying on the ground. Maybe subconsciously I considered it as no more than a plastic bag. But my friend held me back from hitting it. I looked down, and suddenly forgot all the words I could’ve continued to throw out. It was a little creature- a look closer- an ordinary squirrel. It didn’t fly away at such a danger as we all got around to observe it. And it couldn’t even stand up. There was blood nearby. I couldn’t resist helping it. Is one of its legs broken? I picked out napkins and tried to put it up to give it a check. But it was so angry and fearful watching me approach, no matter how tender and affectionate we tried to be when we touched its feathers. It struggled to jump aside using its stomach, showing the most uncompromising refusal. And I found the blood was from its mouth. The blood left on the napkin was so red as if it was to catch fire. We had nothing to do. We couldn’t leave it alone, in the middle of sidewalk, under the deadly summer sun. Looking through its eyes, it was all despair and fear. A few seconds later while we were helplessly thinking how to help, the squirrel used its last strength rolling away and silence down. It wasn’t until I picked it up did I realize it was completely dead. I couldn’t see its eyes anymore. They were so tightly closed. The best idea I was able to come up with was to put it in the grass, where I considered was closer to the nature. And let it rot into the earth.
Now I can’t stop thinking about it, and a lot more. The squirrel apparently was afraid of us. The only thing we brought to it was acceleration of its death. It could’ve died without the threat of humans, without fear and anxiety. But it ended up this way. What did we do? We understood how it felt about us. It disliked us. But can we go away? We felt for it and insisted we could do something to help it. So we stayed, while we were thinking how, it was dead. How stupid and cruel. But will I leave it if given another chance to act again? Can I watch myself actually abandon a poor little bird and continue to deliver big speeches?
On the very same day in the morning, I watched The Cove. I watched how the smart and adorable dolphins were slaughtered in the evil cove of Taiji. This is a very similar feeling, a sense of guilt. Sometimes I just loath human beings. Human is the ultimate devil of the tyranny of the nature. This is the ‘sometimes’. We love the dolphins, because they’re friendly to human, smart as human. They seem to have emotion and self-consciousness. They always smile. They enjoy the nature along with human. What does it matter to other groups of people? Do they necessarily feel the same way as we do? Are we hence morally superior than them? Not so. All the love we generated for them is still self-centered. See the constant mentioned idea of “being closer to human”? Because they are somewhat like us, and meet the standard of what is lovely and beautiful through the human perspectives. This is the very foundation of sympathy and thus the criteria of judgment.
This world is full of hypocrisy. I learned the fact when observing Israel related issues and now ironically I was exactly hypocritical. The concept of “morality” is invented by humans and they keep confuse themselves about it. All has to be said is said, people have discussed about the relationship between humans and the nature thoroughly. It’s funny some don’t eat meat but kill plants, bacterium, viruses and some other inorganic substances that are in process of being organic.
What I said above is not a duplication of what has been said, but a confirmation that I abandon myself. I accept the fact that I’m on the top of this tyranny. I feel safe when I think I have to do something for this squirrel because this may make me feel I’m nice. I feel safe when my heart breaks watching the sea dyed red by dolphin blood. I feel safe when I outcry and condemn the cold-blooded Japanese murderers (wow these words are so familiar, aren’t they often used to describe israel? Did these word just came out from my mouth?). I feel safe when I eat port thinking the pigs are born to be eaten. I feel safe because as is ,it’s all about I like this one and I dislike that one. How can we win the dolphin campaign? Gather more people who like dolphins and the Japs become the odd. What we do to protect nature is to protect ourselves.
I describe in such detail what happened yesterday and what flew through my mind last night. I simply explained the reason of a little loss of sleep. The death of a squirrel and dolphins contribute to a strange blog post. “The smile of the dolphins is the biggest lie of the nature”. And I take it with pleasure.